You decide that you want to get a divorce, but you know that the conversation with your spouse can be difficult. It’s also the next step that you have to take, simply letting them know about your decision. Some people wait to do this until they serve the divorce papers, but most couples will talk about it in advance.
The way this conversation goes can help to determine how contentious or amicable your divorce is going to be, so you want to get it right. Here are some tips that can help.
Avoid blame
This isn’t a conversation that should be focused on blaming either one of you for the ending of the marriage. You also don’t want to start from a place of anger, so it’s not best to bring this up if you’re already having an argument. Wait until everyone is calm and simply state what you want.
Be firm
You do want to be compassionate if your spouse doesn’t want to get divorced and you know this is going to be hard for them. But it’s also important to be firm and tell them that this really is what you want and that you’re not going to change your mind. Ideally, you would never start this conversation until you were 100% sure anyway.
Consider outside factors
When picking the right time, think about things like outside stressors or your daily schedule. If there has been a lot of other stress lately, it may not be the best time to bring up the divorce. If there are time constraints, such as your spouse having to leave and go to work, you want to wait until you have longer to focus specifically on this one conversation.
Moving forward
Once you get this process started, then you just need to know about all the legal steps you and your spouse will need to take.
